Search Me

Psalm 139: 23-24 says: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Oh how that verse stirs something inside of me. To invite my Father to look into my human heart and to search it for anything offensive! And to even fathom the thought that anything He shows me as offensive is His way of convicting me to confess so that I may truly have a pure and loving heart. Even as I write this, I am overcome with a sense of love. Of someone saying "Here let me look, let me heal, just let me restore." Almost like any parent would tell a child after the child has been hurt or has a "boo boo". "Here let me make it better." Can you hear it? Can you feel that? Oh the things we can hide from others. The brokenness, the hurt, the pain that seems to just grow. And here within these two verses, our Lord, our Abba, wants to see us for how we are, who we really are, and still show us how much He loves us that He will take it all away! If that wasn't good news to everyone, I wouldn't know what would be. maybe this is why in Proverbs 4:23 it tells us to "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." If once our heart has been cleaned of all offensive things, why would we not guard our heart? Cause once the heart is clean, we will have not only a pure heart in the eyes of Lord, but we would be able to see His Spirit flowing through us. What a ministry that would be to the broken-hearted people we come across in our lives. Are you with me? Are you ready to be searched? I know I am!

Who am I?

I have a birth certificate that tells to whom my parents are, at what time I was born to them, what day I was born, and where I was born. I have a Social Security card that assigns a number to only me. On my marriage certificate, it tells to whom I chose to be my husband, who performed the ceremony, and the names of witnesses on the day of our marriage. It even tells what day, month, and year that we were joined as one. Then I got a military identification card that give several facts about me and which division of the Armed Forces my husband is in and his current rank. It even has a picture of me on it. The same for my driver's license. If you were to drive up behind me in my car, you would see that I am an Army wife, I have a child in her school's choir, that I also am an Army mom. You would see that someone in my family is in the Field Artillery in the Army and that someone has participated in Operation Noble Eagle. From all of this, one might say they know me. But the question remains, does any of this really say who I am? None of that does but there is one statement that does. John 1:12 says, "Yet to all who receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-". Ephesians 1:13 says, "And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit." Out of all the things that we have with our picture on and important information about us, none of it can compare to who we are in Him. If there are any doubt, 1 Corinthians's 3:16, should dismiss them for it states, "Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple an that God's Spirit lives in you?" After reading those few verses I realize who I am is so much more than any certificate or identification card could ever say. It also fills in me a hope for "Him to become greater, I must become less (John 3:30)". For my prayer is that when others see me and begin to know me, then they will truly know who I am. What is your prayer after reading and mediating on those verses? I hope it too will be the same.

Got gifts?

1 Corinthians 12:31 says "But eagerly desire the greater gifts."

As we are in the the Christmas season, how often do you hear someone say, "If only I could get this for that person, that would be the perfect gift?" How often have even I went out to look for just the right (read perfect here) gift for someone who is special to me? To only realize its out of my reach. Or I get that "right" gift and its opened and not thought of as I intended or pictured. Has this happened to you as well? You see the look on the recipient's face and realize what you thought as such a great gift isn't what they were hoping to receive. If only we would all stop and think about why we even have the Christmas season. Its about our one perfect, sinless gift that we all have the chance to receive. A gift that cost one person their life so that we could have an abundance in life here on earth and even more of an abundance of life in Heaven. What is the most perfect gift? It is the gift of our Savior, Jesus Christ. From whom did we receive this gift from? John 3:16 gives us that answer. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." How can we as humans give any more of a perfect gift than that? And not only does our gift from our loving Father end there. 1 Corinthians 12:4 tells us, "Now there are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but it is the same Holy Spirit who is the source of them all." I can't think of anything more than that I need. I have all these wonderful gifts bestowed on me by my heavenly Father, who could ask for more? This year my family like many others that we know, have cut back on gifts this year. Instead we are focusing on what is more important to us. We have found that giving to others has replaced what we give as gifts to each other more appealing. Especially the giving of gifts to those less fortunate than our family. And its been more than just the giving to others this year, its been just having time with our families and friends as well. Listening to the older generation passing their wisdom down to the younger generations. There is no other earthly gift that can have more meaning than those that await us in Heaven, so my challenge is one of remembering one silent night long ago in Bethlehem, when our most perfect gift was given to us. Happy Birthday Jesus, we are so glad and ful of praise that you came to pay our debt in full and to conquer the grave. What a truly special and perfect gift from such a loving and merciful Father. May you all stop and remember with me this Christmas season.

Be still?

Psalms 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Those are two simple words aren't they, or does it just seem simple? Be still - not in motion - Stop and listen. This verse has been on my mind for several weeks now. While I have been out and about getting ready for the holidays, while I've been going to and from gatherings. Even as I lie down to go to sleep. Everytime it crossed my mind, I answered saying be still? There's just no way. I still have so much to do; I've got to get all this done or it won't be done in time. For me, the past several weeks, I had it in my mind that I was "doing" good - I had gotten out of my normal routine, sure, but the holidays were approaching and well I just didn't have time to "be still" and study the Word. I saw it as my "still" time was when I went to Him in prayer. Prayers for my family, myself, and my fellow sisters and brothers in Him. Then while talking with a good friend, I mentioned that that verse just kept popping up it seemed like all the time. Then she asked me a very pointed question which I had no answer to. She asked, "Why? What do you think that verse has been speaking to you?" Of course this came about as she was talking about the possiblity of me blogging, which is out of my comfort zone. But since I really didn't have an answer, I decided to "be still" and ask Him to show me the reason He keeps speaking that verse to me. And did He ever answer me. I began to see that I had gotten out of his word when I (in my flesh and bone) realized that the holidays were coming up and knew that they would be hard. And instead of turning and trusting Him to get me through it (Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength), I chose to keep myself "busy". Busy to me meant that I wouldn't have time to be still and reflect and remember that this Christmas I wouldn't have my earthly father here. Then as I began to jump in the Word, I came across yet another verse that just lept off the pages to me:

Psalms 34-18-19 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all."

So He is close to me? Even though in my sin of flesh, I tried to be in control of my own brokenheartedness? Oh how lucky we are! To have such a loving and caring Father. My morning has been filled with many emotions (as anyone that has suffered a loss does at this time of the year). I have broken down and wept for the loss of my earthly father but through the tears I have been overcome with peace. Peace knowing that although I may no longer have my earthly father, I still have my heavenly Father who will comfort me during these times. I am still His daughter. So my goal now is now to do two simple words daily- Be still - how can I not be still? Will you join me in this quest of finding stillness in each day and asking Him to look inside your heart and show you what He has in store for you? As I was finishing up this blog, I heard a song that I couldn't help but sing along and praise Him for sending at just this time. The title says it all - Your Grace is Enough. It is true, His grace is enough to carry me through and praise be to Him, that I am saved by His grace.